True Kitchen Video Further Polarizes Black Community

The viral video of True Kitchen and Kocktails’ owner Kevin Kelley cursing at patrons for dancing in his restaurant quickly made its way out of Dallas and around the world over the weekend. Unfortunately the narrative that has ensued serves no other purpose than to further polarize the black community and separate the "good" Blacks from the "bad" Blacks. 

In my lifetime, few things have been as frustrating as finding myself loving many black people more than they love themselves. During the pandemic in fact, I've found myself distanced and simply annoyed by the Black people I love so much, but whom have this incessant need to gather and party during a public health crisis.

Still, I can’t imagine myself spewing profane epithets at adults over their behavior.  

I have little in common with a woman who would twerk on a restaurant wall, but on her worst day and my best day - I can not fathom ushering in a narrative that I am better than her - especially not a woman who has chosen to patronize my business. This is exactly what Kelley did. He spoke with arrogance, disdain and a profound degree of misogynistic ego.

Aside from the blatant arrogance and disrespect, there are so many undertones to telling someone that they can "get the f**k out" and "I don't need your money."

Kelley was wrong. He has since apologized for his outburst, but perhaps he isn’t aware of the many undertones of his message.  

The Black people who are defending his actions are the same Black people who make a mocking-like post about Black women's hair each day; laugh at every joke about a Black woman's physique and blame Black women for having multiple children by multiple men, but never find fault with the men.

Kelley is a successful black man; so many misguided souls have adorned him with entitlement. Had he been a Black woman addressing a mixed crowd Sunday evening - she would have had "the audacity," "the nerve" and "the gall" - everything but “the RIGHT” to defend her establishment. She would “think she’s better than everyone.”

Let’s just be honest, a Black woman in Dallas likely wouldn't have a line wrapped around her building - but that's another story for another day.

In the days since the video went viral, social media has been full of feuds, jokes and opinions. Kelley has stood by his sentiment that he opened True Kitchen + Kocktails “for the culture.”

Black Culture is layered.

Just like any group, Black people are vastly diverse. You have different mindsets, different practices and even different dialects. When you say you "do something for the culture" - the objective should be to offer benefit to all dynamics of the culture, not to enforce upon people "your way."

Since many people have offered the rhetoric that if you stood on your granny’s couch you know you would be cursed out – FOR THE SAKE OF THE CULTURE, can we please acknowledge that not all Black children grow up in environments where they are berated and cursed out by the adults around them?  

Many of Kelley’s supporters believe that’s how you have to talk to some people and that’s all some people understand. FOR THE SAKE OF THE CULTURE – can we acknowledge that more black people than not are quite adept to communicating minus the vulgarities?

Reducing ones self to vulgarities, while insisting that an establishment qualifies as upscale is counterproductive.

Perhaps it is cliché, but as business owners we must not bite the hand that feeds us. Kelley has had much success with True Kitchen because of the support he receives from all types of Black people. I don't see too many non-black patrons on True Kitchen's social media pages.

The issue should not be so much good versus bad, but right and wrong. The woman who chose to twerk in that setting was wrong, but that doesn't make her a bad person. Her actions did not warrant Kelley’s response. His justifiable frustration does not excuse his behavior.

If after a workout one evening, Mr. Kelley stops by his business dressed in a dark-colored hoodie and Dallas Police mistake him for a burglar, inevitably shooting him - the very imperfect black women he belittled and mocked will be the ones to lead the protest.

We still need to protect Black Women – all Black Women.