POV: The Burden of De-Escalating Before the Arrival of Police is on Us

We haven’t even celebrated the conviction of Derrick Chauvin for a full 24 hours and we find ourselves in the midst of a new debate surrounding the death of a black teen girl.

Makiah Bryant was making TikTok videos this time last week and now she’s dead.

What do we know about her murder?

The 16 year old was shot four times by a Columbus, Ohio police officer as she wielded a knife in the direction of another teen girl or woman. Police body camera video appears to reveal that before Bryant could strike the other girl or woman with the knife – an officer fired at her, causing her to fall to the ground in front of a parked car.

According to reports, Bryant called police because she was under attack by a group. It appears that a fight commenced in front of a home, in the presence of adults, with even one man participating in the fight. After Bryant is shot, the aforementioned man can be heard saying, “you didn’t have to shoot her, she’s just a kid, man” to the officer.

While many believe the officer should’ve used his taser to de-escalate the situation, others appear supportive that he interrupted the second girl or woman from perhaps taking a deadly blow via the knife.

Part of me just wishes Bryant stopped her pursuit of the other girl when the police arrived; however, “the arrival of police” evokes different hesitancies and reactions in our current climate.

The arrival of police outside “Cup Foods” resulted in the death of George Floyd, via a merciless knee to the neck. The arrival of police to the wrong apartment left an innocent Breonna Taylor dead in the hallway of her moments-prior peaceful home. The arrival of police doesn’t always mean the arrival of good intentions. As adults, we’ve known this throughout our lives. Teenagers, however, are growing up with mixed media messages about the arrival of police, hashtags after the arrival of police and varying in-home emotions and narratives about the arrival of police. 

The truth of the matter is – as black people, we must de-escalate situations before the arrival of police.

Is it fair to always have the burden and responsibility of situational resolve? Absolutely not, but being Black in America has never been fair – hence the incessant need to remind that Black Lives Matter.

Our teenagers are going to need the very best of us in our current world if we want them to not only survive, but to have a real chance at living.

One thing I’ve learned about many Black parents is that they don’t appreciate advice coming from non-parents, so I come in peace as an observer of teenagers. They need the safety to communicate with adults when there are problems brewing in school, via social media or even coming to the front door. They need trust and respect, even when they don’t know how to articulate such. More than the material in the textbooks, they need rules and they need structure. They don’t need adults watching them fight in the front yard and hyping them up when the sirens are rounding the corner.

In full transparency – I struggle with topics like these.

Teenagers are precious to me. I love to observe them; the way they move about school and dare to figure out life. Within the blink of an eye, their young lives can be taken by a peer or upon the arrival of police. Still, our message about de-escalating must be different.

Would Makiah Bryant be dead had she been a 16 year-old white girl, arguing on the front lawn, in an affluent neighborhood with the neighbor’s daughter? - Probably not. A white teen girl, barefoot, wielding a shotgun, while screaming the most vile expletives in the middle of a trailer park community would probably still be alive. We know these things. This is why it is imperative that we learn to de-escalate our own situations.

Years of police training will not rid a biased officer of his pre-conceived notions about Black people. They pull into certain neighborhoods with the belief that they’ll have to shoot their way out. We just don’t know what the arrival of police entails today. If we can stop the fight before the arrival of police, we should stop the fight. If we can stop the argument before the arrival of police, we should do our very best to stop the argument.

This doesn’t mean never call police.

If you discover your home to have been broken into when you arrive after work today – call the police before calling me. If you see a drunk driver swerving between lanes on the interstate this afternoon – call the police before calling your significant other. Law enforcement serves a purpose and there are many officers who truly strive to protect and serve, but when there is a discrepancy among us – the arrival of police can be fatal.

Makiah Bryant called the police because she needed help. She likely grabbed the knife to defend herself. For all we know, those girls could’ve bullied her for months and they pulled up to her home to inflict harm on both her and her family. When I think of both my 16 year-old self and my 36 year-old self, I think in either instance I would do everything within my power to protect both myself and my family.

Upon the arrival of police yesterday, a toxic situation had not been de-escalated. The teenager – young and with a future of life-lessons and maturation continued her efforts for vengeance. Now we are less a beautiful young Queen and there are two other young girls who are left with sure mounting trauma over their actions.

This will be painful to hear, but we all need to know this: to de-escalate means to decrease intensity.

Blackness = Intensity to more members of our society than are willing to admit.