What do you tell your girls?
Today is Tuesday. Three of my typically jubilant girls are all quiet and visibly frustrated. One keeps putting her head on her desk. Another girl keeps checking her phone, as if she’s waiting on a message. The third girl is fighting back tears.
Something is definitely bothering them.
None of them are being disrespectful, so I’m not going to make a scene. The three girls are all scattered throughout one of my largest classes. My teacher senses have kicked in and my journalistic nosiness is telling me the problem.
One girl writes me a note. Another girl shows me a text. The last girl hangs around after class to share with me her frustrations.
Anyone care to guess the problem?
Class ends. After a quick passing period – my next group of students walks in.
The “problem” is just fine. HE speaks to me as he usually does; he smiles and then he takes his seat. He is unbothered.
You see this charismatic young man is the boyfriend of one of the girls. He dates the second girl on the side. And he flirts with the third girl each day, leading her to believe that they can one day be together. They all know about each other. They all know about the other girls too.
Does this sound familiar? Perhaps if you go on a slow scroll through Facebook at this hour you’ll see something familiar. Guys with girlfriends are entertaining other women, while inboxing even more women. Unfortunately, you’ll also discover many of the women to be enjoying the attention.
Indeed it is a shame on Facebook, but it’s an even greater feat to deal with such nonsense in a school setting. I’m tired of seeing girls heartbroken and mentally abused by manipulative boys, because the adults in their lives aren’t sharing with them the correct message.
Just the way we subconsciously teach boys to not settle for any girl and “play the field” – TEACH OUR GIRLS TO NOT OVERVALUE HIGH SCHOOL BOYS.
Relationships are great. Friendships are important. Finding and securing true confidants = NECESSARY. BUT, no teen girl should be so consumed by a teen boy that she loses her mind, loses her hope, loses sleep or loses focus on her academia.
What are you telling the teen girl in your life? Are you teaching her to value herself? Are you catering to her wishes for certain makeup, hairstyles, body contours, etc. without inquiring about her reasons for such desires?
Please don’t misinterpret my intent here. I’m not a parent and I won’t pretend to know the stresses of good parenting. But your daughters are exposed to quite a bit while you’re at work. Just as much transpires on their phones while you’re in the next room.
They’re popping pills. Threesomes are being arranged. They’re issuing out oral sex like McDonald’s serves up fries. Many are hiding pregnancies. Their conscience is killing them and they’re drowning their guilt in alcohol.
Time out for all that “he’ll learn his lesson one day” jargon. That’s not the mission anyway. In trying to correct our girl’s behavior, I’m not wanting to hurt the boys. We need to save our girls right now.
I’m willing to bet that there is a teacher in your daughter’s school with whom she shares a great deal of information on a daily basis. Some things girls just don’t feel comfortable telling their parents. I implore you, however, to dig deep. Get in her business.
There is only so much a teacher can do in 45 minutes, five days per week. I can teach and I can preach, but changing a mindset doesn’t happen in a semester. Break through her mind, before some little boy penetrates her elsewhere.
