Dear Students: WE ARE NOT THE SAME
By Ari Christine
This has been an especially tough week in education. Video after video surfaced of classroom teachers being assaulted by students. Educators around the country shared their personal experiences via social media of how they’ve been both subtly and blatantly disrespected in their classrooms. One teacher in Houston even killed himself in the classroom – his reasons of course are unknown.
This has just been a really tough week for so many educators.
No, I haven't been hit. No I haven't been spat on. No, I haven't been cursed out this week. Other teachers have, and my inbox full of painful testimonials and cries for help prove that this has been a tough week.
I've broken my own rule and vented on Facebook. I know better. Most of the complaints of a teacher go in one ear of the non-teacher and out of the other, because all they can think about is the fact that we have the summer months off.
Hopefully my venting hit loudly to my friends and followers, because I'm the fun teacher. I'm the one students tend to like. They often hurry to my class and we laugh throughout the day, while working. I typically complain about the structure of public education and not my students. Nevertheless this has been a tough week for me as an educator, because it has been a week of realization about this profession.
I was a great student. Preschool through four years of college, I was a great student. Several of my colleagues can say the same. It's very hard to be a teacher today if you were a great student just 10 to 20 years ago.
Let me explain.
The school system has never been perfect. Students have never been perfect, but there once was a clear distinction between teacher and student. We live in a culture now where students consider themselves equal to adults. They want the same respect. They want to be held to the same esteem. They don’t want to be held responsible for “student things.” They want an explanation for everything. They want to be able to pick and choose what work they do.
Hold your rebuttal please.
Students absolutely deserve to be respected and treated as human beings, but children are not equal to adults. Get this out of your head and encourage your young people to do the same. By that nonsensical logic, adults with families, with experience, with college degrees, with responsibilities and with knowledge that they are willing to share via TEACHING are equal to children who wait for a school bell, which tells them when they can walk in the hallway. WE ARE NOT THE SAME.
On many campuses, students who just refuse to attend or participate in class are allowed to simply take the course on the computer. Many will say, “They’re just bored.” Well, where exactly is the much-needed lesson on accountability when we remove students from any environment that bores them? The K-12 experience does not last forever, but learning discipline and appreciating roles that compliment one another are crucial for our future society. It’s okay for students to be bored every once in awhile. Believe it or not – teachers get bored too. People so far removed from the classroom often give us our curriculum and many mandates for instruction. We attend more meetings, workshops and trainings than we need.
Some people will confuse the student who questions adults as being an inquisitive student. Newsflash: There is a difference between asking someone a question and questioning someone. I’ll just leave that alone for you to think about over the weekend.
Learning to communicate with adults can’t be a lesson that is the sole responsibility of the teacher. If you are a parent and the “huh,” “yeah” and “whatevers” are acceptable in your home – you are part of the problem. If the same children you feed, clothe and take on vacation are allowed to gripe and moan to you about cleaning up their room; if they get to tell you not to worry about them being on their phone so much; if they are allowed to walk out of the house and down the street whenever they choose – you are creating the sense of entitlement that many of them stuff into their backpacks and pockets when they enter the schools and our classrooms.
If my mama doesn’t tell me to take out my earbuds – neither can you. If my daddy doesn’t have a problem with me texting – neither should you.
If you believe that hitting a teacher is the only way a student can be disrespectful, you are sadly mistaken. It’s a culmination of apathy, the lack of communication skills and behaviors that promote a belief that student and teacher are on the same level that drives teachers away from the profession.
There was a time when students were ticketed for cursing in school. “Fuck,” “Bitch,” “Shit,” “Damn,” “Nigga,” fills the halls of many campuses now. For some students, it doesn’t matter if the 85-year-old substitute is standing in the doorway of her classroom for the day, or the familiar teacher from last year is two feet away – when they feel like cursing, they curse. This is especially agitating for many educators, because guess what – we know how to curse too, and most of us are pretty good at it. Should we let a few words fly, the punishments (varying by district) can be brutal.
Understand this - most of us don't fear being hit by a student. We're not nervous around your children. And we aren't the least bit intimidated by the so-called "tough kids.”
Teachers used to be sacred. Teachers used to be highly revered and overly respected – the good teachers and the not-so-great teachers. It didn’t matter the skill set, the personality or the years of experience – teachers were public servants that were not to be disrespected. While we are so far removed from that culture, we can return. Setting such a tone, however, will require the help of multiple parties.
This is not a lesson to mock parenting, but hopefully it can encourage some introspection for parents. My mother is a teacher, and was actually my English teacher in the 12th grade. Ms. Talton was able to teach me without issue, because of how Beverly raised me.
All is not lost for the students without support systems. Ironically, in my experience these aren’t the students who stir the pot and cause trouble in the classroom. The bottom-line is that the community of adults must go back to correcting poor behaviors. School cannot be the only place for correction and repercussions for bad actions must come from all directions. The foundation for most problems in our schools is the battle for equal ground. Students, ALL students must realize and respect the distinction between teacher and student. We were students once. We’ve earned the title “adult/teacher.” Young people must bring honor to the title “student.”
The hope is that one day, teachers like myself won’t have to pour out our hearts about disrespect, but can instead brag about and highlight the sweet students, who are actually throughout each campus willing and ready to learn. They do exist.
