“Have We Given Our Children a Wrong Sense of Empowerment?”

A fight ensues when a substitute teacher confiscates a cell phone from a student.

Yesterday was another Monday, enveloped by yet another viral video of a student and an adult

fighting in a school setting.  

Why does this keep happening? Why must we continue to debate the instigator and the appropriate punishment?  

Perhaps we have given children the wrong sense of empowerment. 

I am an adult.

I have professional experience.

I have something to teach you.

I have credentials.

I deserve your attention.

We are not equals in this setting. 

There was a time when teachers didn’t have to announce such declarations. The aforementioned was at one point a given – teachers and staff members were simply respected for their position in the school setting. Unfortunately, we move farther and farther from this principle each school year.

Let’s be clear, an educator should respect all students as fellow human beings. I not only listen to you as your teacher, but I hear what you say to me. I also value your unique voice and presence. You, however, have no authority in this setting.

Until we return to a “fair, but unequal” structure of authority in the word of education – we will continue to see videos of students fighting teachers. 

It doesn’t matter what kind of homelife a student has; it doesn’t matter how imposing his or her stature is – a student is not the counterpart of an adult. Not acknowledging this is the very reason many teachers can’t deliver a full lesson; why many coaches can’t coach a full practice; and why many unruly students walk the halls more than they sit in a desk between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m.

Someone will read this and passionately make the argument that “these kids don’t have to respect unworthy adults.”

I try my best to understand parent perspectives when it comes to their children. I’ve noticed many state that the adults need to learn how to speak to students respectfully. I agree. No child should be berated by an angered adult in any setting. But for the parent who always sides with the aggravated student; for the parent who always says the adults aren’t teaching, aren’t setting the right examples; aren’t acting professionally - why do you keep dropping your children off at such a terrible place?  

If the school is so full of bad people, undeserving of respect - why keep taking your children every day and trusting these same people to keep your children safe?

It’s true, there are scandalous adults working in schools where children are watching their behaviors. Students are observing the cheating on both standardized tests and marriages; they’re picking up on practices of discrimination. They’re hearing the foul language and so much more. 

The real world is not void of any of these negative behaviors either.

We’ll vote for corrupt politicians who do the same thing. We’ll be pulled over by police officers with similar biases. Young people will be faced with both customers and clients who are not receptive of their skills and are undeserving of their respect. “Situational Authority” is still a necessity in the school setting. There are just too many children and too few adults for there to be a constant power struggle. If we could just teach children to be respectful of the adult in the room – we would see a complete shift in how the school day progresses.

There must be a distinction between adult and non-adult (child, adolescent, pre-teen, and teenager) in every dynamic and space of our educational system - for the sake of direction and instruction.

Regardless of a child’s experience, skill set or mental capacity - under no circumstance should he/she be falsely empowered to believe that he is on the same level as an adult. We’ve given children the idea that instead of simply invoking their displeasure and opinion, that such displeasure and opinion are dictations.

If they don’t want to do something, we give them options and ways around it. It’s our own faults.

It’s cliché, but a child should stay in a child’s place.

If your phone is your daily business - no point in waiting for a school bell to tell you when you can walk down the hall. If no adult can tell you what to do, then remove yourself from the school setting. As a parent, if you’ve given your child this sense of empowerment – you need to find him or her somewhere else to go during the day.

Most educators adore students with strong minds. We appreciate students who take ownership of their education, and we especially love students who will keep a class discussion moving. The goal is not to suppress their growth or handcuff their voices. The problem is identifying the line of separation. We are not equals. Adulthood is still a rite of passage. Adults must stop negotiating with children. And at some point, certain children must be “left behind” to solely be their parents project - especially if their parents make negotiations a practice in the home. A child with no sense of respect or veneration for the adults in his home is an almost impossible student to effectively teach. 

Phones are simply one example of how we’ve entitled so many young people.

An assignment is being given by a teacher right now. The student sitting in the far corner is now blaring out: “Why do we have to do this?”

A phone was just spotted during instruction. The teacher is begging: “put it away.” (A fair warning). The student responds: “hold on Ms/Mr” and proceeds to finish texting.

Some teachers will spend half of the class period pleading with students to put phones away. Other teachers will collect the phones and turn them into the office. And then there will be those teachers who present their lessons and once they’re done talking, they are simply done talking whether students understand the assignment or not. No teacher, however, is oblivious to phones being utilized during class.

What is the solution? Is there a solution?

During an observation, many administrators will document that students were “using phones in the back of the classroom,” and mark down the teacher. There is, however, no such demarcation for the students. There is no real repercussion for students anymore because adults fear how they’ll react.

What does that say about our culture of adults? Schools have shifted from adult directed to being dictated by unassuming students.    

Handbooks exist in every school district. Most use verbiage that suggests phones should not be utilized during the school day. Still, students are on their phones all day – communicating with friends, their parents, their jobs and engaging in social media.

What if phones were collected as students entered the building each day? What if when parents had emergencies, they called the front office like we did for decades before cell phones existed?

In a perfect world, phones would be an asset to the classroom and not a distraction. Phones would be used to aid students in faster research, for translation purposes and to use other useful resources.

The distraction herein lies when a teacher must repeatedly collect phones and in turn be threatened physically for not returning them. 

Our most recent video example reflects a substitute teacher and a teen girl engaging after the woman wouldn’t return a phone to the student. The student gets into the woman’s “personal space.” Soon the two are fighting. 

Something tells me that most students who would dare hit a teacher don’t really believe the teacher will fight back. It’s important that students (and parents) realize that when a child steps out of a child’s place and becomes violent – a fight with no holds barred may very well ensue.