Mega Church Preacher Thinks 'Women are Being Raised to be Men'

Several years ago I sat in a hair salon and engaged in conversation with a stylist about mega-church preachers. Like with everything, I stood by my stance. Every opinion I delivered - I could back up with examples mine eyes had seen. I could’ve told this woman her preacher was shooting people in the parking lot and she would’ve made excuses for him.

She was one of those “if my pastor says it, it’s right” people.

Well, needless to say - she doesn’t touch my hair anymore, but her preacher is at it again.

Video recently surfaced of TD Jakes’ Father’s Day address to his congregation. During the sermon, Jakes can be heard professing that "Society is breaking down because women are being raised to be men." In the video, he goes on to say that women are applauded by how tough, rough, nasty, mean, aggressive, hateful and possessive they are.

So, is that the way men ought to be? Is that what it means to be raised like men? Talk about indirectly encouraging a narrative on toxic masculinity.

There are so many harmful patriarchal undertones here. For one thing, it is high time for men to stop looking to blame women (many of whom have been left with no other lifestyle than “survival”) as a means to explain societal shortcomings.

Let’s delve for another moment into the words: “you (women) are applauded by how tough, rough, nasty, mean, aggressive, hateful and possessive you are.” When exactly are women ever applauded? By men? By other women? By society in general?

The sweetest and most reserved women are "too passive." The strongest women are "too domineering." The women with no children are "selfish." The women with 'too many children" made "poor life choices." The women who cater to their own needs and don’t center themselves around the happiness and fulfillment of men “don’t understand their role.”

Again, Mr. Jakes - when are women ever applauded? During what was supposed to be a Father’s Day sermon, you sir took the opportunity to tell women how they are making life difficult for men.

Yes, I reluctantly watched the entire video. I didn’t just fixate on any one part to serve my point. Jakes makes the suggestion that women are not allowing men to pour into them and while climbing the corporate ladder - women are not being judged for their femininity.

There are so many dangerous sentiments here.

Let’s pretend for a moment that all the mothers and wives of men hang up their professional coats, take off their corporate garb, relinquish their efforts as academicians and solely serve in the home, rearing children and thriving in the femininity that according to Jakes is the woman’s most significant asset. Let’s pretend all women step back in time (as our country proves daily is a desire) and make no contribution outside the home.

Count on your hand the number of households in your immediate circle (less professional athletes and entertainers) that financially survive. I don’t know of one.

Lastly, Mr. Jakes says that a woman is to create a need that a man can pour into.

That ladies and gentlemen is the recipe for “resentment.” Unless the man is wealthy (most men are not) - a woman who creates a need is treated as a liability. Just scroll Facebook today and count the number of men crying that women are ruining their lives by taking $300 per month in child support. Count the number of men who pose questions about who should pay for what on a date, in a household, on a vacation, etc. Count the number of men who mock women for allowing men to “take care” of things.

In the video, you can hear several “Amens” and a lot of boisterous cheers of support. I take it, those are the claps of the “my pastor said” committee. You have to be really careful as a member of a combined $120,000 household, listening to the advice of a multi-million dollar household. Rich husbands can preach about almost anything and receive support. And rich wives have a great deal of incentive to be “kept women.”

Women aren’t being raised to be men - girls and women are being raised to survive a demanding world, whether there is the presence of supportive men or not. Perhaps the male ego and intimidation would’ve been appropriate subtopics for this particular sermon.