We Never Needed Acceptance

What did forced integration do to black people?

We were conditioned to believe that being allowed in "white places" was an achievement of some sort. Get into their schools and we can be smarter. Move into their neighborhoods and we can be more elite. Be allowed to shop amongst them and our dollars matter more.

Integration wasn’t what we needed in this nation. Black people have always had the know-how and the wherewithal to innovate, to survive, to entertain and to brilliantly create.

The truth is we never needed a seat at their table.

We just wanted to be treated fairly and equally. The Civil Rights Movement was not in vain. We deserved to drink from the fountain. We deserved to sit on the bus. We deserved to attend the concert and sit where our hearts desired to sit.

We didn't need to be accepted. We deserved to be treated equally.

Now so many of us find ourselves inside our culture, looking out for acceptance and approval.

Dear Black People: We don't need it.

Black schools are fine. Black churches are fine. Black salons are fine. Black businesses are fine. Black only meetings are fine. Black sports teams are fine. No, that’s not segregation. Segregation is the lawful separation of people. Black people are notoriously the most inviting folks in the world. We give you our music. We give you our fashion. We give you our vernacular and we don’t even attack you when you try to perpetrate your misconstrued understanding of blackness.

Ethnic names are fine. Chicken is fine. Black workout groups after fried food dining are fine. Pro black messages on shirts are fine. Black Greek Life is fine. Lord have mercy Historically Black Colleges and Universities are more than fine.

This Black History Month and all months to follow are perfect moments to be black and proud. Black presidents hiring black CEOs and black interns - all fine. Black and abroad is fine. Having non-black friends is fine. Not having non-black friends does not obligate black people to find non-black friends.

No more explaining blackness and its many dynamics. Recognize when we’re killing ourselves only to attain positions where we are allowed because of quotas. Go where you want to be and be who you are.

It's hard to be black. They know. We know. But it's also beautiful to be black. They know that too.

It's okay to pray for black people who refuse these truths from afar. It's okay to discuss disenfranchisement over Starbucks and wear a dashiki in England, all while listening to trap music.

To the girl in high school acting out because English is pretty much a thing of the past on your campus - use your voice. Tell them that you're still there even though the majority of your classmates speak another language. You belong.

To the college sophomore from the hood sitting in the dorm of the prestigious white institution - its okay to watch A Different World before sitting in that class with no one who looks like you. You belong.

To the college freshman from the non-black suburb trying to "fit in" at the all black campus in Atlanta - don't try so hard. You've always been black according to the world. It didn't matter where or how you grew up. You belong.

Don't go missing because the "greater" society doesn't value your presence. You have always mattered enough to be discussed, feared and dismissed.

Don’t ever seek validation.